Wondering into the Subjunctive: A Commentary on Thought in Motion
November 16, 2021
Thinking with the papers in this special issue has been an intense spiritual experience. It is true that for me reading and writing are transmorphic events. The words move into my body, get into my veins, move about, lodge themselves into my stomach and vibrate and mix with memories, molecules, muscles, and thoughts in a sort of flurry that seems rather uncontrollable. I dream about words, lines, and ideas written in this special issue. Language itself is not isolated material; I do not hide out to write or read or cut myself off from the rest of the world to interact with words; they instead become part of me, part of my limited world, the things I eat and drink and shower with. Still, I grapple for words and language to come back when I need to harness them because I stutter and murmur; I'm klutzy, drop things inadvertently and leave the kitchen counter dirty after eating lunch. It is as if I still need to beg for permission to use them when I write, to promise to treat words and sentences with care; and still I need to prove myself with language; it demands my trust; holding onto words and placing them in proper order can seem like trying to carry a plastic bag full of eggs home from a crowded market.
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